with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
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They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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