I seem to have left my pride at pride
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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