I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think people are normalizing furries
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
