everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We have started to decorate penises.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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