Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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