we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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