Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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