420 ftw
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
