I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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