nut hugger
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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