i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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