what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
