There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Someone signed my nipple.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
