bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
