if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
