One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
