Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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