I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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