she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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