real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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