Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
