Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
