It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
