you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
