we're blogging at a bar
did you get engaged???
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
