dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
