Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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