I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize