sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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