I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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