were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
