my mouth tastes like poor choices
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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