Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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