I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
