just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
