According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
