she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
