Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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