the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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