Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
