Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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  (202): i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left. http://tfl.nu/4tq4
  Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (2613)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

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  (415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die? (510): I hope so http://tfl.nu/tt2l
  Replies (41) Good night (2218) Bad night (5232)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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  (514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz
  Replies (154) Good night (628) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.

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  (321): I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter. http://tfl.nu/jrqc
  Replies (6) Good night (5452) Bad night (982)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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  (239): you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now. http://tfl.nu/uslm
  Replies (1) Good night (3044) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

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  (412): You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay http://tfl.nu/y710
  Replies (15) Good night (4201) Bad night (1987)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.

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  (917): Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'. http://tfl.nu/jzlx
  Replies (12) Good night (914) Bad night (2658)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?

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  (812): Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver? http://tfl.nu/nssb
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day

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  (240): Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day http://tfl.nu/21po
  Replies (6) Good night (2878) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.

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  (814): It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it. http://tfl.nu/w90m
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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  (207): I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered. http://tfl.nu/1qcp
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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  (417): nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml. http://tfl.nu/44ox
  Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone

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  (317): The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone http://tfl.nu/xbvo
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing

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  (360): I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing http://tfl.nu/tjmj
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.

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  (630): I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/564g
  Replies (14) Good night (1187) Bad night (793)

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