Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow