My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
