we made out on top of his cat.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
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He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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