Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
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Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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