NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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