My hand turned me down
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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