Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
