between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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