Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
