my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
