ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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