I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she told me i tasted like america
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
