If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
