Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She made me pour olive oil on her.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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