Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
