his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
