The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
