She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
