yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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