We won't sleep together?
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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