Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
