i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
