I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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